Designed childhood

Have you ever heard about hyper-parenting? Perhaps not, especially if you are not parents yet. Still, you could notice some differences in raising children now and in time of your own childhood. You may remember playgrounds full of kids of diverse age, running and screaming without parents guarding them all the time. Now it’s rather an unusual view. So-called ‘helicopter parents’ prefer their children to spend more time at home, where they are safe, or on numerous after-school activities.

Of course, not all the parents of 21^st century are continuously controlling their children. Some kids are simply staying at home and playing computer games or watching TV and that’s why they are not playing outside even if weather is perfect. Their parents have no time to engage in their childhood so much, because of their own career. It seems that time is running faster than it used to in previous centuries. Still, parents feel much more pressure to protect their children than even 20 years ago. Almost everyday we can read headlines like: “A three year old girl fell out of the window” or “Two children injured in a car accident”. There’s plenty of information about kidnapping and abusing babies too. So, danger is everywhere and parents live in constant fear. Do you think that now life is more dangerous now than it was twenty years ago?

Webcams in nurseries have become more popular lately. Another instrument of constant control are cell phones. A few years old kids have their own phones so parents can call them when they are at school. Next, there are special chips (it’s not a joke!) that help parents find their kids on Google Maps.

I think that this need to control children is a part of our attitude towards them. People have one or sometimes two children and believe they can’t afford to have more. Kids became some kind of expensive gadgets to show off, so celebrities like to be photographed with them. Being pregnant lets actress to get to the covers of magazines.

If you decide to have only one child, the pressure to make it genius grows. People spend enormous amounts of money for Chinese lessons, ballet classes or Baby Einstein CDs to make their heir a star. There are no scientific proofs that “programming” children at such a young age works. Parents do their best to ensure their children will succeeded in their future life and they start from the very beginning. A “Project: Child” starts much earlier than when their kids are born. They plan conception. They try to plan baby’s sex. They try to plan their zodiac sign. Sometimes they plan twins. If they have in vitro fertilization, they can select which embryo will be born and even if their children will inherit their genetic disabilities. Can you imagine that dwarf parents sometimes choose their baby to be short too?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16299656/ns/health-pregnancy/t/designer-babies-made-to-order-defects/

If parents use banks of sperms or eggs, they can choose if their baby will be a blue-eyed blond girl or a tall boy with an artistic talent. Sometimes they won’t achieve this goal, but they do much to get the desired result. Doesn’t it sound like from S-F novel?

With so much effort done in the planning conception, pressure of making children successful must be huge. In last months a book written by Amy Chua “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” got a bestseller worldwide. The author explains why in her opinion Chinese upbringing is better than in Western countries. She underlines that Asian kids concentrated on constant developing of their skills are better students and they achieve more spectacular successes. Chinese education is constant hard work with no waste of time for having fun.

Only a part of parents can afford many extra-curricular activities for their children, but they are an unsurpassed example for others. A super-intelligent child running from French classes to karate and yoga, with only “A” grades in school is a modern dream. I suppose you have already heard about “baby-aerobic” or “baby-English lessons”? That’s just for a start. Many middle-class parents think they don’t secure their children proper conditions to develop their talents if they don’t send them to these kind of activities. Everyone wants to have a super-child, there’s no place for mediocrity.

When kids grow up, their parents are still beside him or her. Carl Honoré in his book “Under Pressure: Rescuing Our Children from the Culture of Hyper-Parenting” describes the phenomenon of people who make their children dependent on them also in their adult life. Kids raised that way got used to the total control and care of their parents. They don’t know what the risk is, because their moms and dads never let them try it.

1. What do you think about modern parenting? Has it been changed since you’ve been a child?
2. If you had children, what would you want for them most: to be successful, to be happy, or to be a good man / woman)? Justify your answer.
3. What were your feelings while you were watching North Korean children playing the guitars in one of the videos above?